Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
