my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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