I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
