The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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