What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
