pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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