Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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