I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
