i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
Randomize
