I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize