i already hear my dad disowning me
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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