That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
