Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
