Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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