Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
