Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize