are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
