She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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