What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize