When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize
