If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
