ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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