I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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