That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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