I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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