That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was a blind-side dick pic.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
