I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
