fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize