Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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