did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
