The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
