True but thats because hes a fetus.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I have feelings that need drinking.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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