Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
