I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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