just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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