I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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