Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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