she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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