i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Operation Purity has been aborted
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
