Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
