hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize