I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
