Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
