It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
