Me too!
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
