He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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