I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
