The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
