Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
