P.S. I can't hear my feet
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
