Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
handjob tips. give me some.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I need to calm my uterus...
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
