im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
