so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
it's like heaven, but drunker
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
