Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
