I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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