whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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