Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
