i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
