i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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